Snow
by Gingersnap630
Summary: And I swear just for a second I saw her in the flurries of white. Swore I almost saw her smiling and waving good-bye.


_****_**AN: Well I guess this is another story about Joy and Fabian. Joy is my favorite charecter and I feel like the writers potrey her as a bitch. This is not ok with me. This story shows a more vunerable side of Joy.**

**(Ok not related but am I the only one that thinks Nina is schizophrenia?)**

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><p><em><strong>Weather man said it's gonna snow<strong>_

I was watching the news when the weather came on. It was going to snow late tonight. I've always loved the snow.

_**By now I should be used to the cold**_

I didn't always enjoy the cold that came with the snow though. But now I guess I'm an expert at it. Ever since I came back everyone has been cold to me. All becauseI love Fabes. It's not my fault. I can't help who I fall in love with.

_**Mid-February shouldn't be so scary**_

I'll never admit it but I'm scared. Scared I'll have to go through everything alone. I wake up almost every night screaming into my pillow. I hate the nightmares. They're all of last term. No one ever notices though.

_**It was only December. I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me.**_

It was only a couple of months ago. It was before the whole chosen one thing. Before Nina came. Fabes and I were the last to leave for Christmas break. We were sitting on the floor next to the tree. He gave me his present when we were alone. It was a simple ring. It was a plain silver band with the words forever on the inside. He said that we would always be friends. That no matter what, he'd stick by me. Forever. I still wear it. On a chain under all my clothes. Even though it's meaningless to him. It reminds me of a happier time.

_**But you went away. How dare you?**_

But when I came back we weren't friends anymore. He left me, left us, for her. I'm not mad at him. I just feel betrayed.

_**I miss you.**_

I sat on my bed looking at the ring. I miss him so much. His company, his smile towards me, everything. I don't have it anymore.

_**They say I'll be OK**_

Patricia says I'll be fine. That I'm just being over dramatic. She's wrong though.

**_But I'm not going to ever get over you_**

I'm never going to stop loving him. Till the day I die I will alway love Fabian Rutter.

_**Living alone here in this place.**_

I feel so alone in the house now. Jerome and Mara are always together. And when they're not he's with Alfie. Alfie's always with Amber. And they're always with Nina and Fabian, who are always together, and Patricia. And Patricia's always with Eddie. I'm just alone.

_**I think of you, and I'm not afraid.**_

When ever I feel particularly lonely or sad, I just think of all the wonderful times we had together. I'm not so afraid when I do. But then reality kicks back in and I realize that they will only ever be memories. Never a future.

**_Your favorite records make me feel better._**

I love listening to the CD he gave me. It feels like such a long time ago he made it for me.

_**Cause you sing along. With every song.**_

He used to play the songs on his guitar. He would try to teach me how to play them. I was getting better, but then I left.

_**I know you didn't mean to give them to me.**_

I know the poem wasn't for me. It was just nice fooling myself for a while. Thinking he actually cared for me again.

_**But you went away. How dare you?**_

I hate being without him. I feel like a horrible person loving someone who loves someone else.

**_I miss you._**

I miss our movie nights. Every Saturday we would curl up on his bed with a bowl of popcorn watching a movie. I miss that.

_**They say I'll be OK.**_

No one seems to care enough to dig deeper. They just assume that I'm gonna be and am fine.

_**But I'm not going to ever get over you.**_

They have no idea how much I love him. How much I will always love him.

_**It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone.**_

It felt like a slap in the face. He gave her a ring. It said my treasure in it. I cried for hours in my room afterwords. Of course though, no one bothered to check on me. They were all to busy fawning over her ring. I never showed anyone the ring he gave to me. It was our special secret.

_**Cause you went away, how dare you?**_

I looked at the ring. It was so simple and beautiful. I looked at the letter in my hand. I was going to slide it under his door tonight. There were somethings I needed to get off my chest.

**I miss you.**

I was so tempted to put the ring in it. I couldn't bring myself to do it though. That would be like letting go of him and I could never do that.

_**They say I'll be OK**_

I walked down the hallway to a very familiar door. I had just saw Eddie in the kitchen and Fabes was on the couch with her. I sighed and pushed the door open. I was flooded with so many memories. It almost made me cry. I walked over to his bed and put the note on his pillow. I sighed and walked out. I went upstairs to my room. It was empty. It was ok though being alone was kind of all I had now.

**_But I'm not going to ever get over you._**

(Fabes' POV)

I walked into my room after trying to solve the latest task. I noticed a letter on my bed. I looked at it curiously. Fabes was written on it in very familiar hand writing. I used my thumb to open it. I began to read.

_Dear Fabes,_

_What happened to forever Fabes? What happened to always being there for me? What happened to friends forever?_

_I feel so alone now. No one seems to care about me anymore. Even you..._

_Everyone is in one massive group in the house. That is everyone except me._

_I'm having nightmares again. They came back. I'm having such a hard time dealing with them alone._

_Alone. It's five words that have described my live sense I came back._

_I can't do this without you anymore. I don't know if I can do it at all._

_I guess what I'm trying to say is I miss you, a lot. I miss us._

_ Yours forever,_

_ Joy_

My eyes widened when I saw that. Had Joy really been going through this all alone. I griped the letter tighter and ran up to her room. What I saw when I burst through the door will haunt me forever.

Joy was sitting on her bed with a knife from the kitchen. She had a long gash across both of her wrists. The knife was on the floor, blood splattered everywhere. She looked up at me and gave me a small broken smile. I rushed over to her and used a towel to try to stop the bleeding.

"You don't have to do this Fabes. I know you don't want to be here." Joy said softly. I looked up at her with surprise.

"No one cares. I know you don't either. I have been doing this for months. No one has noticed the scars. Maybe the person examining my body will..." She continued. I took her face in my hands.

"Joy you aren't thinking about suicide are you?" I asked scarred. She gave a small haunting smile and nodded.

"It will be best for everyone." She said.

"I'm getting Trudy." I said getting up. I was about to leave when I heard her voice.

"I still love you Fabes. I know you don't love me." I spun around to see her with the knife. She cut up her arm opening a major artery. I looked with wide eyes. I opened the door and started yelling for help. I ran over and used the blood soaked towel to try to stop the bleeding again.

"I do love you Joy!" I said crying slightly.

"No you don't. Not the way I love you. You never will." She said sadly.

"Good-bye Fabes." She said, She then brought he face up to mine and kissed me. She pulled away and smiled. She then took her last breathe and fell on my shoulder. Joy Mercer would never take another breathe again.

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><p>I sat down in front of her grave. I traced her name with my finger. I held the ring I had given her tightly in my hand.<p>

"I do love you Joy. I'm just sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted me too."

I walked away as the snow swirled around her grave. And I swear just for a second I saw her in the flurries of white. Swore I almost saw her smiling and waving good-bye.

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><p><strong>AN: Well there you have it. I didn't mean to kill Joy off at first it just kinda happened. DOn't hurt me! Please Please Please Review!<strong>


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